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Bananapudding

刘清泉

AnytimeIseebananapuddingonamenu,I’mfilledwithaeuphoricsenseofwellbeingandtakenbacktoaspecialmomentinmylifewhenIlearnedanimportantlessonaboutjealousyandlove.

ItallbeganwhenmystepchildrencameforavisitshortlyaftertheirfatherandIweremarried.Cherylwas8,andChuckwas10.Oursmallapartmentsoonbecameanobstaclecourselitteredwithstuffedanimals,toys,andgames.

ButIlikedthekidsfromthestart.TheywereeverythingIcouldhavewantedinasonanddaughter.

Ofcourse,Iwantedtowinthemover.Theyseemedtolikemewellenough,butIwasn’tsure,especiallyatmealtime.Cheryl,inparticular,enjoyedwatchingmepreparetheeveningmealandshadowedmyeverymoveinthekitchen.Shehadaninsatiablecuriositycombinedwithanenchanting,yetsomewhatdisconcerting,honesty.

“Whatchadoing?”sheasked.

“Makingpotatosalad,”Ireplied.

Shestoodonhertiptoesandscruti-nizedthebowlsofchoppedpickles,eggs,andonions.Herlipscurledindisgust.Shepointedatthebowls.“What’sthat?Andthat...andthat!”

Myanswersdidnotseemtopleaseher.Sheshookherheadindisapproval.“Mymamadoesn’tmakeitthatway,”sheinformedme.

“Well,justtasteitatdinner,”Icountered,smilingthinlytomaskmyirritation.“Ifyoudon’tlikeit,youdon’thavetoeatit.”

Itbecameanightlyritual.Unfortu-nately,herfatherbelievedthatchildrenshouldeateverythingontheirplate,includingasampleofanydreadfuldishthattheirmothermadeinadifferentwaythanIdid.

Asaresult,IstartedtofeellikeSnowWhite’swickedstepmother,plottingagainsttheprincessasIwilledhertosuccumbtomyculinarymagic.Chuck,whoatfirstateanythingandeverything,developedcriticaltenden-cies.Hesoontookupthehueandcryof“Mamadoesn’tmakeitthatway.”

Eachnightafterdinner,wesatonthesofawithDadinthemiddle,achildoneachside,andmeontheoutside.Itseemedappropriate.Iwasfeelingmoreandmorelikeanoutcast.

Onenightwhilewrestlingwithhisfatheronthesofa,Chuckfoundsomestraypopcornkernelsunderthecush-ions.Cherylchastisedme,sayingthathermamaalwaysvacuumedundertheirsofaseatseveryweek.

Bythistime,Iwasdevelopingaseriousdislikebothforhermotherandhermethods.

Then,atlast,Ifoundadishtheirmamadidn’tmake—oneboththekidsliked-bananapudding.Theyhelpedmeinthekitchen.ChuckbeattheeggwhitesforthetoppingwhileCherylcarefullylinedthepanwithvanillawafers.Icutupthebananasandpre-paredthefilling.Theybothlickedthebowl.Weallhadfun.Itwasatimeofsharingandlaughter.

Later,makingbananapuddingbecameacherishedfamilytradition.

Onthelastnightbeforetheyweretoreturnhome,wehadarrangedafamilyget-together.Whenthedoorbellrang,Cherylscamperedtoanswer.Mysister-in-lawCarolstoodframedinthedoorwaywithalargebowlclutched

inherhands.“What’sthat?”Cherylimmediatelywantedtoknow.

“It’sbananapudding,”Carolof-feredproudly.

Cheryltookacloserlook,thenshookherheadfromsidetosideand

said,“Karendoesn’tmakeitthatway.”

Idissolvedinlaughterthatnooneelseunderstood.Suddenly,mytensionandanxietydisappeared,andIknewthatwhenthosekidsgotbackhome,theirmotherwouldbehearingalotabouthow“Karendoesn’tdoitthatway.”Shehadmysympathyandrespect.

ItseemedtheirmomandIhadmoreincommonthanIthought,webothusedoneimportantingredientinourcooking,themostactiveone-love.

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